A Perfect Apology

Our imperfection is precisely why the need to apologise arises.

An older couple we admire once told us that a proper apology has 4 steps:

  1. “I’m sorry for…”

  2. “You were right about…and I was wrong to…”

  3. “Please forgive me.”

  4. “What can I do better next time?”

Just last week I said to my husband:

  1. I am sorry for overstepping our budget.

  2. You were right to be upset about that and I was wrong to disregard this fortnight’s budget that we had worked on together.

  3. Please forgive me.

  4. What can I do better next time?

To which he replied, “Please be more mindful when you’re spending money next time.” Fair enough. Learning about this process for apologising has been one of the best pieces of advice that we have applied to our relationship. It’s humbling, disarming and opens doors for conversation and healing.

Saying sorry is one of the most wonderful things we can do for someone who is hurting. It’s a soothing balm on the wounds in their heart. Feel free to be a perfectionist with your apologies.

What do you think holds people back from apologising? Do you owe someone an apology? Are you waiting for one? Comment below. I’d love to hear from you.

Related post:

Swallowing your mistakes